My ah ma is lying in the hospital fighting her illness.
She has backbone problem and stomache. well. She cant eat much in a day because the hospital banned her from eating at times when she has to go for scanning.
She cannot move much and has to do her big and small business on her bed. ya. You can see a tube filled with urine to be passed out. She even wears diaper due to her inconvenience. My heart aches when I see her on the bed. I helped to massage her legs and hands since she stayed in her bed the whole day. I also realised that her white hairs are showing. My ah ma tried to dye her hair black to cover them up. She is aging... getting weaker... hai... Even if she discharge from the hospital, she has to stay in the Old Folk home for a few weeks or so. I wonder if she will be used to the new environment or not. Her backbone needs some time to recover since no one can take care of her at home. It would be a better idea to send her there where the nurses can bring my ah ma for some exercise which will benefit her backbone. =(

I can vividly remember the days when I was young and stayed at her house. She would prepare breakfast early in the morning and sometime would bring me and my sisters to the nearby park for morning exercise. I love the herbal soup she made and leo love the curry she cooked. hmm. It would be a big headache for my granny if we three sisters stayed at her house. lol. Ya. We often quarrel over trivial matters and cause my ah ma to take out her cane to stop us. -sob-
But now.... we have grown up... she has to divert her attention to my younger cousins and I dont frequent her house as much as I do in the past.

I realise I miss and love her alot...
I hope she gets well soon.

------------------------------------------------

My mother is away in Taiwan now.... She will be there a week. I've asked her to get me ENERGY and JAY latest albums already but im not sure if she knows how to buy. =)
I have to juggle both my prelims and the duties at home for the moment now. What worst is that.... she cant be with me for my 18th birthday this sat!!! =(

I miss you so much too.

------------------------------------------------

It seems like im having a drastic moodswing now...
I realise im always having this sad feeling inside me especially when im alone at home.
Now is the prelim period and im feeling so jittery about this whole thing.
What if I still dont do well despite studying for it?
The As are just 2 months away! omg.
Get me out of this nightmare soon! hai.........

All my love ones are distant-ing from me... even you...
♪ words in shades of grey.

0 Comments